Worst Parent Award

I think George and I qualify for the worst parents... at least by East Africa standards. :) People here don't hesitate to give you advice about how to take care of your child - family, friends, strangers on the street.... anyone, really. In the US sometimes unsolicited advice is appreciated, but often I think resented. We want to believe we know what we are doing and are doing the best we can. We get defensive if someone says we are doing it wrong.

Here, I have to just suck it up and take the advice. I admit getting really annoyed at first, although I tried hard not to show it. Now, I realize, it's not done out of malice. They just want to help and may think that we as first time parents need help. There is no use getting bothered because the advice will just keep coming. Now, I find it funny. I just laugh and add it to our list of parenting crimes. Here are some of the comments we get for our various offenses:

“Cover the baby's head!” (From a stranger as we were crossing the street. You would think we were standing in the sun all day in 120 degree heat holding Eli up to the sun.)

“Where are the baby's socks? You have shoes on. The baby should have socks.” (Yesterday at church. He is four months and it's hot outside. We are not making him walk barefoot on hot coals.)

“That baby is cold. Where is his blanket?” (We get this frequently. Kids are so bundled up here. Even when it is hot outside. He is not in Antarctica without clothes on.)

“Why is the baby crying?” (This one used to bug me the most. Babies cry! - Although they seem to do is less here. I don't know why he is crying. He is fed and changed. Maybe he is sleepy? Maybe he has gas? Who knows, but we are working on it!)

“You need to start the baby's day with a bath so he feels fresh. Then he will sleep for 6 hours during the day.” (Tried that. Didn't work as promised. Now we do night time baths. Still doesn't sleep 6 hours straight!)

“Don't let the baby stand. He is too young.” (Eli has loved to stand since he was born. At six weeks, he was standing on George's lap in Kisumu and George's dad freaked out when he saw it. They think it will hurt their backs. It's not like George was letting go!)

“You can't put a baby in a pool. It is too cold.” (This is our biggest crime of all. We took him swimming. Pools are rare here so most people don't know how to swim and have never been in a pool. There happens to be one within walking distance of our house at the YMCA that only costs $2 so we went once. Eli did great! He was hesitant at first, but soon relaxed. He didn't cry at all. There were many people there eating lunch and I can only imagine what they were thinking. They probably went home and told their families about the crazy people who put their baby in a pool. By the way, it was a warm, sunny day and the water wasn't cold. And we used an umbrella to shield him from the sun.)

There are so many more. It's funny how different cultures view child care. George and I have had to discuss different ideas and I think we have done a good job blending our knowledge and customs. Mostly we have learned it's trial and error. We don't know what we are doing all the time, but we are figuring it out. Until, then poor Eli will just have to hang in there!

We can't be doing too bad, right? He seems happy!

After swimming... just chillin'... doesn't seem scarred by the event.