Family Fun

On Sunday, I had a great day full of family fun. In the afternoon my family gathered at my brother's house for lunch. Derek prepared an awesome burrito/taco bar. It was delicious!



Prior to lunch, my niece treated us to a violin performance.





And then began the longest game of Aggravation ever. My family loves to play games and we are vicious! There is no mercy and nothing is personal. We don't care if you have never played the game before or are four years old. We play to win! This game was particularly painful and there were many brutal moves, but it was hilarious and we laughed a lot!



I went straight from my brother's house down to San Diego where I babysat my cousins, Mary and Matt. We had a blast. First we went to the park, then to Subway, then to the store for root beer float supplies and then home to get them ready for bed. Am I the coolest babysitter or what? Yes. Seriously, I really loved spending time with my family. I literally would lay in my bed in Sudan when I was feeling homesick and daydream about days like this.

Future Possibilities and Praying for Miracles

I have no idea what the future holds. Does that freak anyone else out like it freaks me out? I want to know where I will be in three months so I can make a plan. I want to make a list and check items off of it. Too bad I can't do that. God seems to think I need to grow in faith so I am kept in the dark of His master plan for my life.

I know I am supposed to be a missionary and I think it's in East Africa. Beyond that, I don't know much! Right now I have my feelers out, asking people about ministry opportunities. There are many big missions organizations out there, but I don't know if that is the road for me. I have a feeling God will make the right connection through word of mouth. That's how my life seems to work. God shows me where he wants me to go by dropping things in my lap, usually when I don't expect it. It has happened with previous jobs and also with In Deed and Truth. I don't have to make things happen, I need to listen for God's prompting and be patient. God gives me just enough to have me take one step and then another. So, I will proceed until he closes a door and I must examine another path.

My theme right now is praying for miracles. Miracles are needed in my life now so I am boldly praying for them. Sometimes it seems like the desires of my heart and needs for the future seem so out of reach that it can be overwhelming, but I am exercising faith and trusting God to work everything out. Some of the things I am praying for are:

1. I am praying God makes it clear where he wants me to serve next. I am ready to go, I just need direction. I would love it if God makes it obvious where He wants me. I'm in a weird position because I am not going as a missionary with a certain skill set. I'm not a nurse, a teacher, construction wiz, etc. I am just someone who loves encouraging people, enjoys kids, likes to help where there is a need, willing to do “whatever” and above all wants to tell others about Jesus and be an example of His love. Can a ministry use me? A “whatever” missionary? I am praying God leads me to a place where I would be a perfect fit. As of now, I have looked at possibilities in Uganda and Tanzania that are very exciting.

2. I am praying for financial help. Going back to Africa and establishing life there is costly. Plus there are several things I need to do here (like going to the doctor, dentist, etc) that are too expensive right now. Fortunately, God is so good. Since I have been back, He has provided for my financial needs... a little bit here... a lot there... just enough for the needs at the moment. He has provided for me over and over again, so why wouldn't he provide now and for the future? I am such an Israelite sometimes! God reminds me when I am discouraged about the times when He has rescued me in the past. Why should my faith ever waver? Look how faithful he has been!

3. I am praying that George gets a visa to visit the US. Most of you know about George. However, there may be a few who only follow my blog and don't know about him. George is my boyfriend of seven months. We worked together in Sudan and are looking for a place to serve God together. I was blessed to meet his family in January and now I want him to meet mine. He met my pastor and others from RdR when they went to Tonj and they all loved him. So did Mike and Amy and I know you all will too. Unfortunately, getting a visa to visit the US is very difficult for a single, young man in Kenya. But, we are going to try and pray for miracles! I will be sad if he doesn't get it, but I fully trust in God's sovereign will. If the visa is denied, He must have a reason why it's not the right timing now. We only want God's will for our lives and trust in his perfect plan. God has bound our hearts together and we have faith God will work out all the details. I want George to meet my family before I return to Africa, but if not, it's ok. There is always skype!

4. I am praying God helps me overcome my struggles with food. I have gained quite a bit since being home. I thought I conquered my issues while in Sudan, but I realize I still have work to do. I am powerless so I need God to grab a hold of that area of my life.

As you can see... there are a lot of things to pray for. I only listed a few. I have had several moments where I have broken down and just bawled. All the stress and uncertainty gets to be too much at times, but God is always there for me and picks up the pieces each time I fall apart.

So much uncertainty, but the most important thing in my life is certain... that's is my Lord, who is my strength.

Culture Update

Before I came back, I had been warned to expect culture shock. I had friends go on missions trip who came back and had a hard time adjusting back to American culture. We live in a land of excess and when you come from a place where people don't even have food, coming back can be difficult. Questions are asked of oneself such as why was I fortunate to be born in America where even the poor have cell phones and big screen TVs? I was prepped and ready to deal with the culture shock as much as I could be. While I was ready for it, I was also determined to not be judgmental about our culture and return with a “holier than thou” attitude. I've seen people come back, swear they are never watching TV again, never buying a new cars or clothes and begin to criticize Americans. I didn't want to be like that. Yes, America has problems, but it's a great country and I am privileged to be here.

As ready as I was for the emotional roller coaster I was promised would come, I was very surprised when it never did. At least not from culture shock. There are plenty of other things I have been emotional about, but culture hasn't been one of them. I have really enjoyed being back here and have not found myself being judgmental about the excess around me. I love it here and will miss it when I go back. I think because I am only here for a few months, it has been easier to deal with the culture differences. If I was staying in the US, knowing I wasn't going back to Africa, it may be harder.

I find myself using my experiences in Sudan to help me adjust to my life in the moment here. There I learned not to get too attached to anything and be very flexible. That has come in handy since my life is one big question mark and I am only able to plan about one or two weeks into the future. I also learned how little I can live on. In Sudan we lived with what we had and learned to live without the things we didn't. Although money is very tight now, I am not sad about that or feel like I am missing out. I just avoid shopping so I am not tempted to accumulate stuff.

While I miss my peeps in Sudan and Kenya, I am happy to be here today and want to take advantage of every moment because I know the time will go by quickly and soon it will be time to head back and leave behind the people that are so dear to me.