The Birth Story - Part Four

After a couple days, I was feeling pretty good and was ready to begin seeing Julia regularly. As soon as I was shuffling safely around on my own, I headed down to the NICU. What I found down there was shocking. Now, before I continue to describe the settings, I want to say I am not criticizing the staff at the hospital. They do the best they can with their resources and knowledge. Unfortunately, what we are blessed to have in Western hospital is just not available here.

The NICU looks like this... you enter through a door into a hallway lined with chairs. Before you step foot into the ward, you are met with the sounds of many crying babies. There are two rooms filled with 30-40 babies in make shift beds, basically wooden boxes. And the rooms are heated. None of the babies have equipment monitoring them. The only equipment there is are a few lights used to treat jaundice. The worst part is there are only 2-3 nurses on duty at a time to tend to all those babies.

Later, I found out all the chairs in the hallway are for the mothers of the babies. They are allowed (required) to go and feed their babies every three hours on the dot. They all go at the same time... 12:00am, 3:00am, 6:00am, 9:00am, etc. The moms file in and wait for their baby to be passed to them. Then they all whip out their breasts to feed their babies. For those whose babies can't breastfeed yet, they have to express milk by hand into a little bowl. While balancing the babies on their laps. And while holding their diapers and wipes. There are no tables to put things on. Everything must be done in your chair, on your lap. There is no privacy, quiet time or modestly. It's about function and timing for the nurses. I get why they do it this way, but it's so rigid. And men aren't allowed in. Oh yeah... and the NICU is on the bottom floor while the maternity ward is on the 4th. So 8 times a day, the moms have to go up and down four flights of stairs. Not easy when recovering from a c-section. There is also a woman's dorm area where the moms stay once they are discharged. They stay there and are close to take care of the babies (at the allotted time, of course!)

When I arrived for the first time, I had no idea what to do. No one told me the procedure, schedule, where to go. And remember, this is not an English speaking country so communication was very difficult. I managed to find a doctor to give me an update on Julia. Dr. Mohammed was the one present at the delivery. He told me they want the babies to be able to feed well and be at least 2.5kg before going home. So, Julia would be there for a while. The good news was that other than jaundice, Julia didn't have any complications or infections. She was stable. Just small and needed time to grow. He said as soon as I was recovered from my c-section I could come down every three hours with all the other moms to spend time with her and feed her. Until then, the nurses would feed her formula from a cup. Since I was feeling pretty good, I thought the next day I could begin the round the clock feedings.

Unfortunately, the next day, I was hit by a ton of pain. In my neck and head. I had developed a spinal headache, a side effect of the spinal block (for the c-section). The bummer was, the spinal block didn't even work and I had to have general anesthesia. Anyway, I was feeling fine when lying down, but as soon as I would sit or stand, immense pain flooded my head and neck. Still, I thought I should be with Julia, so I forced myself to go down to the NICU.

When I arrived for my first official visit as one of the moms there for a feeding, I was in incredible pain. They brought Julia to me and said "breastfeed her." I looked at them and tried to explain, she is too little. She can't suck. Also, my milk flow was extremely small. The nurses began to try to express the milk by hand and realized what I was talking about. Between the pain, the frustration of no milk, feeling overwhelmed by the situation at hand, the language barrier and all the post birth emotions, I just cried. Do you know what happened next... the moms gathered around me to support and hug me? Nope, they all laughed at me. The nurses said "why no milk" when I shamefully said "I don't know" they all laughed again. It was horrible. I already stuck out as the foreigner, but this just made me feel worse. So, I tried to express milk by hand to no avail.

During this time, I was pouring sweat. The weather had been so hot and humid that I had been sweating since I arrived in the hospital. There are no fans or AC in the hospital. Because of the bed rest limitations and then c-section recovery, I couldn't bathe. After days of sweating non-stop, I was a smelly mess. My hair was soaked all the time from sweat. So the stress of trying to feed Julia, not having any room to get comfortable and the spinal headache pain caused sweat to pour down my face and body non stop to the point where my hospital gown was soaked. Another laughing point for everyone.

When I went back upstairs, I tracked down the nurses and asked to see a doctor. Something was severely wrong. I couldn't function with the pain. It's hard to see a doctor there. There is supposed to be one doing rounds and one on call, but they are easy to miss. On Monday, I saw Dr. Immanuel (Dr. Imma) and he explained what was happening with the spinal headache. He assured me it would go away in a day or two. To help with the pain, he gave me medicine that completely knocked me out. All I could do was lay there while it had it's effect. It was so strange. I could feel the medicine hit and then could not get any words out. That was powerful stuff! Sadly, it only lasted a couple hours and as soon as I sat up, the pain was back. He tried three more treatments over the next few days and was baffled why they didn't work and why the pain persisted. After the last treatment, we just agreed to stop them since they weren't helping and only brought strong relief in the moment, requiring me to miss seeing Julia. For days, I was convinced I had meningitis or a brain infection. Dr. Imma repeatedly tried to assure me that was not the case. Finally, after five days, the pain began to get better. George was taking advice from people so we were trying everything. The one that seemed to work was caffeine. George brought me a coffee shake and a Mountain Dew. I chugged those and soon began to feel an improvement.. in my head that is. My stomach felt so sick after drinking those!

Once the headache subsided, it made seeing Julia much easier. Then I could really focus on her. Things weren't really changing down there. I made friends with a few of the nurses who took pity on me and gave me pointers for feeding Julia. I also found a mom who spoke some English and was able to tell me what was happening and what to do. That was a huge relief.

With Julia's health being so fragile, I knew we'd be in the hospital for a long time. However, the longer we were there, the more I thought we should just go home. Once she finished the jaundice treatment, there was nothing medically they would be doing for her. After a couple days of trying, I tracked down one of the pediatricians and asked what the plan was. Later, I found out they were discharging us the following day. Although this was great news, it was also very scary. She is a long way from being ok. The good thing about going home was we would be able to be with her round the clock and tend to her needs, not just once every three hours. Plus George would be involved. At the NICU, he wasn't allowed in.

While all this was going on, I was getting more and more used to the hospital. I was in a private room, which meant there were only two of us instead of 12. It didn't cost much more for me to be there and it allowed me to have Eli visit so I was happy with the set up. I had a roommate who was going to be there for a while. I think there was a complication in her pregnancy so she had to be on bed rest and monitored. She spoke limited English and I speak limited Kiswahili, but we were able to get along well. I continued to receive lots of visitors. Some caught me in a positive moment, others found me under the influence of the pain meds and barely able to talk. Some walked in during a crying moment for me, which doesn't bother me but made them feel very uncomfortable. As I said, people here don't cry much so they get really freaked out when they see people cry. I had a few American visitors too. They were missionaries as well. One I barely knew. We had only seen each other in passing, but she heard I was there and came to pray for me. Her prayer was very powerful and I was so thankful for her coming. Another missionary came and stayed for a while, providing good distraction (and snacks!).

Speaking of snacks... the best thing about the hospital was the food! Each morning, they would come give me a few options and I would put my order in for lunch and dinner. It was all local food, but it was delicious. Breakfast would come at 6:00am and would be tea (black or milk), two pieces of bread with margarine and a boiled egg. Then more tea came at 10:00am. Lunch was around 1:00pm and could be one of the following: rice, stew, soup, fries, pototoes, spinich, chicken, fruit, etc. Then more tea at 4:00pm followed by dinner at 7:00 (same varieties as lunch). I actually felt sick from the amount of food they were giving. I could not eat it all. Not even close. Plus, many visitors brought me food too. Beans, porridge, soup, tea, etc. I had to share it as to not hurt the feelings of those who brought it. It was too much!

By day ten of my hospitalization, I was ready to go home. It was hard on George and Eli for me to be gone. Eli was not used to being apart from me. It broke my heart to be apart from him as well. The image of him calling out for me and not understanding why I wasn't there was so sad. George brought Eli nearly every day, but it was so confusing for him. We had a few helpers come to the house to play with Eli which was nice. It gave him something to do and allowed George the freedom to run back and forth. Poor George was so tired, taking care of me and Eli. Plus he had to still go forward with the medical outreach we had been planning for months. It was too much. I just wanted my family to be back together.

Although we weren't prepared to take care of a preemie, we had no choice and Julia and I finally came home on Saturday, the 3rd. Our friends had given us a baby bed and we set to work setting up our room. This is where Julia would stay until she is strong enough to face the world. She (and we) will be in seclusion for a while, trying to keep her free from infection.

And that is the story of Julia's birth. Now, stay tuned for regular updates on how she is doing.