Marriage in the Dinka Culture

Marriage in the Dinka culture is very different than what we are used to. I want to share with you Christina's story so you can get a good picture it. Christina was married to Pastor John Riak. He was blind, but memorized the entire New Testament so he could go around and preach the gospel. He was the inspiration for the In Deed and Truth pastors school. Unfortunately he died suddenly from a heart attack a few years ago. His wife, Christina, lives behind our compound and there is a fund to help provide for her and her children. A couple days ago we found out she has run away because of trouble with her in laws. Christina wants to remarry, but according to Dinka tradition, she and her children belong to her late husband's family. When a woman gets married here, her family pays a dowry (usually many cows) to her new husband's family. Really she has been purchased and is now owned by that family. Because women are viewed as property, this has resulted in many women being beaten by their husbands. Their husbands see them as theirs to do whatever they like and often don't treat them better than they would a dog. Some women are lucky and have loving husbands, but for most of them it is a business transaction.

Christina's in laws are refusing to allow her to remarry unless she leaves the children with them or her family pays back the dowry that was given for her. Christina and her in laws actually went to court over this and the judge agreed with her in laws. People have the option of getting married under the church law or traditional law. If they get married under church law, the traditional laws don't apply. Unfortunately, I don't think there are many church law marriages. Pastor John and Christina did have a church wedding, but their wedding certificate said it was a church wedding, but under traditional law. So, the judge said she is bound by traditional laws to Pastor John's family. She told Sabet about this situation and he counseled her to wait until her children are grown and then get remarried. However, she did not like that option and now has run away with the children. We are not sure where she is but suspect she is in Wau. It is a sad situation. I understand her desire to get remarried, but she knew what she was getting into when she got married and now has to obey the law. A life on the run will be very difficult. The problem lies with the dowry system and the culture's value of cows. As long as women are a commodity to be purchased, they will never have freedom.

I believe change won't happen until people understand that people are more important than cows and that women are equal to men. I think the only way that new perspective will happen is by people coming to know Christ. When Sabet talks to men here, they can't believe he didn't have to pay for Suzy (and she would fetch a very high dowry!) and are shocked that his daughters won't be sold either. This has led to men asking why he would do that and he is able to tell them how Jesus changed his life. Our goal with the pastors school is to train pastors to go out and preach God's message of love to their fellow Sudanese. As more men stand up and let their daughters marry for love and not for a dowry, we will see a change. Until then, we pray for the women who have no say in their situation and have to endure hard times.