Send Off

Two Saturdays ago, one of the ladies in our church, Edita, got married. I was so happy as she has had a very difficult life. Several years ago, her husband died after they had been married only a few months and several months later, she delivered a baby who died shortly after. Despite all this, she has remained so strong in the Lord and Jesus truly shines through her. She is a hard worker and faithfully serves at the church. Tanzanians celebrate marriage with two ceremonies: the send off and the wedding. The wedding is held on a Saturday and is thrown by the groom's family. It occurs usually where his family is from. The send off is for the bride. It is thrown by the bride's family on the Thursday before the wedding. It signifies her family sending her off to get married.

This was our first send off, so I was excited to go and see what happens. It was scheduled to start at 1:00pm. I was bummed because we would have to go late, after Eli woke up from his nap. I didn't want to miss anything. However, I had nothing to worry about. Why do I always forget that I am in Africa? They don't run on American time. When we arrived at 3:00pm, Edita wasn't there, nor were many of the guests. They didn't come until 4:30! Can you imagine arriving for a party (especially a wedding) and it started three and a half hours late?! Well, that's typical here. So, we didn't miss the beginning, but now we would miss the end because we had to leave by 6:00 to put Eli to bed. What I did see and experience was very neat.


While we waited, Eli got to hang out with the kids gathered to watch the event.



Here are my guys all dressed up.



The send off occurred at our church. The team really transformed the place. Weddings and send offs are put on by a committee. Committees are composed of friends and family of the bride and groom. It is their job to raise money for the event and plan everything.



Edita arrived and looked so beautiful. I struggled to hold back happy tears for her. When she arrived, she was followed by a band who played as the wedding party danced around the car.



Once they all danced down the isle, Edita and her sister took their places of honor.



The wedding is about the bride and groom, but the send off is all about the bride.

The ceremony began with a song and a brief teaching from the Bible. Then the church leaders were called forward to pray for her.



Next were some of the traditional ceremonies. First Edita’s parents were brought forward to be wrapped in a blanket, given by the grooms family. This signifies them being left with something to keep them warm after their daughter leaves.



Next, Edita’s brother gave her to the groom’s family.



Last, Edita was covered with material to show she would be taken care off and accepted by the groom and his family.



It was at about this time that we needed to leave. I didn’t want to, but we try to avoid Eli’s tired meltdowns when possible! Pastor Zac told me, “You have to wait for the cake. It’s coming.” I thought, “Cake… yes, I will wait for that!” Well, I was in for a surprise. A traditional cake in the Kilimanjaro region is a roasted goat…. Served whole!



After the cake, something fun happened. The groom made an appearance. He was hidden somewhere in the crowd. Edita had to walk around and find him, then offer him a gift. It was cute.



Right before we tried to leave, Redemta said you have to eat first. Although it wasn’t the dinner portion of the ceremony, she snuck me a plate from the buffet line. The food was delicious - beef stew and rice, cabbage, potatoes and more. We scarfed it down before heading home.



After we left, I was told they did gifts (when people came forward to give their presents to Edita) followed by dinner. I loved being there to celebrate with Edita. I kept looking at her, wondering what she was thinking. Perhaps, she was reflecting on the last time she did this (with her first husband), thinking that would be her only time and then being so thankful to God for bringing her someone else. I don’t know, but it was a joyous occasion.



(The bride and groom, in purple, addressing the crowd.)