Community

I have mentioned before that Africa is much more about community than the US. The US focuses on the individual where as in Kenya it's all about teamwork. I am convinced Africa's motto should be there is no “I in Team.” The more I am here, the more this concept sinks in. Coming from the US, it's a concept that takes some adjustment and time to get used to. Just when I think I am doing well, something comes up and I find myself frustrated with the way things work here. ( It's usually me just being selfish!) Neither way (African or US) is bad and I am not making judgments on either culture, just making observations as a non-flexible person learns to live in a place where flexibility is a must. People here don't struggle with this – it's just how they are raised and it's very ingrained in their being. It's a very selfless way of living and constantly challenges my definition of “mine.” Here are some examples of what I am talking about:

Here there is no “mine.” There is no buying chocolate or soda for yourself and putting it in the fridge for later. Chances are someone will see it and enjoy it. And that wouldn't be viewed as bad or eating someone's food. If you leave your shoes in the living room, someone else may use them to go to the store. Things here are shared.

Due to poverty and illness, many children are left as orphans and homeless. It becomes the responsibilities of their extended family to take care of them. George's parents (the Okechs) have taken in many children. God gave them 8 biological children to take care of and they have helped many more. In addition to taking in George, they have taken in four nieces and nephews whose parents have died. Also, they have two grandchildren living with them. It's important to note, they are not rich. In Kenya, school is not free and parents have to come up with a lot of money to pay for school fees. It's a struggle every term for them to find the money to pay for school. As a result, their faith in God has been strengthened and somehow they manage. Despite their financial struggles, they still open their doors to anyone that needs a place to stay. Whenever we go there, you never know who will be there for lunch or dinner.

The home where George and I live with his brother, Dave, has been a community home for a long time. It's called Ondiek (after the neighborhood where it is located). George's older brothers first rented it, barely scraping thereto enough for rent. Ondiek became home for their friends and family who needed a place to stay. Even though the place is tiny (two bedrooms, a sitting room and a kitchen), they welcomed everyone – even sleeping 4 in a bed if needed. It remains that way today. We will often have overnight guests or people popping by for dinner. I tried to keep track of who was coming so I could be prepared for dinner when George finally told me to not worry about it. It was difficult to get used to. Americans love their privacy and space and would always call first before dropping by someone's house. Here, you are hospitable to everyone who walks through the door. Whatever we have prepared for dinner will be divided for each person. Planning is not essential. You just go with the flow and things will work themselves out.

In homes all over Kenya, there are children living there whose parents live elsewhere. Relatives often take in other children for a variety of reasons – being closer to school or to help the parent's financial problems for instance. Many times, when a parent dies, the responsibility of providing for the family falls on the oldest child. Once they complete school and begin work, their salary goes to help pay for school and food for their younger siblings. Even though this pressure is difficult, they don't complain. It's just accepted this is how it works.

It's an admirable culture. But, one so different than what I am used to. Living in the US, we don't face the hardships of a 3rd world country like Kenya. Poverty, health problems and no jobs contribute to the hard life and suffering people face here. We are so blessed in the US. Each family is responsible for their own issues and generally don't have the burden of taking care of others. Living in this culture has forced me to be less selfish and appreciate small things. I see anything we have as something given to us by God – to be used to bless others as well as ourselves. So when I look for my shoes and realize that someone else is using them or when I return home after a long hot day of errands so excited to drink some cold juice only to find it gone, I have to take a deep breath a say, it's ok. It's not all about me anymore.