Future Possibilities and Praying for Miracles

I have no idea what the future holds. Does that freak anyone else out like it freaks me out? I want to know where I will be in three months so I can make a plan. I want to make a list and check items off of it. Too bad I can't do that. God seems to think I need to grow in faith so I am kept in the dark of His master plan for my life.

I know I am supposed to be a missionary and I think it's in East Africa. Beyond that, I don't know much! Right now I have my feelers out, asking people about ministry opportunities. There are many big missions organizations out there, but I don't know if that is the road for me. I have a feeling God will make the right connection through word of mouth. That's how my life seems to work. God shows me where he wants me to go by dropping things in my lap, usually when I don't expect it. It has happened with previous jobs and also with In Deed and Truth. I don't have to make things happen, I need to listen for God's prompting and be patient. God gives me just enough to have me take one step and then another. So, I will proceed until he closes a door and I must examine another path.

My theme right now is praying for miracles. Miracles are needed in my life now so I am boldly praying for them. Sometimes it seems like the desires of my heart and needs for the future seem so out of reach that it can be overwhelming, but I am exercising faith and trusting God to work everything out. Some of the things I am praying for are:

1. I am praying God makes it clear where he wants me to serve next. I am ready to go, I just need direction. I would love it if God makes it obvious where He wants me. I'm in a weird position because I am not going as a missionary with a certain skill set. I'm not a nurse, a teacher, construction wiz, etc. I am just someone who loves encouraging people, enjoys kids, likes to help where there is a need, willing to do “whatever” and above all wants to tell others about Jesus and be an example of His love. Can a ministry use me? A “whatever” missionary? I am praying God leads me to a place where I would be a perfect fit. As of now, I have looked at possibilities in Uganda and Tanzania that are very exciting.

2. I am praying for financial help. Going back to Africa and establishing life there is costly. Plus there are several things I need to do here (like going to the doctor, dentist, etc) that are too expensive right now. Fortunately, God is so good. Since I have been back, He has provided for my financial needs... a little bit here... a lot there... just enough for the needs at the moment. He has provided for me over and over again, so why wouldn't he provide now and for the future? I am such an Israelite sometimes! God reminds me when I am discouraged about the times when He has rescued me in the past. Why should my faith ever waver? Look how faithful he has been!

3. I am praying that George gets a visa to visit the US. Most of you know about George. However, there may be a few who only follow my blog and don't know about him. George is my boyfriend of seven months. We worked together in Sudan and are looking for a place to serve God together. I was blessed to meet his family in January and now I want him to meet mine. He met my pastor and others from RdR when they went to Tonj and they all loved him. So did Mike and Amy and I know you all will too. Unfortunately, getting a visa to visit the US is very difficult for a single, young man in Kenya. But, we are going to try and pray for miracles! I will be sad if he doesn't get it, but I fully trust in God's sovereign will. If the visa is denied, He must have a reason why it's not the right timing now. We only want God's will for our lives and trust in his perfect plan. God has bound our hearts together and we have faith God will work out all the details. I want George to meet my family before I return to Africa, but if not, it's ok. There is always skype!

4. I am praying God helps me overcome my struggles with food. I have gained quite a bit since being home. I thought I conquered my issues while in Sudan, but I realize I still have work to do. I am powerless so I need God to grab a hold of that area of my life.

As you can see... there are a lot of things to pray for. I only listed a few. I have had several moments where I have broken down and just bawled. All the stress and uncertainty gets to be too much at times, but God is always there for me and picks up the pieces each time I fall apart.

So much uncertainty, but the most important thing in my life is certain... that's is my Lord, who is my strength.