Taboo Subject

(Warning: this blog contains material some consider inappropriate to discuss. If you don't like bathroom humor, don't read this one.)

This is very un-American, but I am going to do it anyway. I am going to blog about poop. Since I try to be as transparent as possible and show you what life is like here, I have decided to clue you in on this part of being an African missionary. Yes, I know, we don't like to talk about it. I'm sure I am not the only one who has gone to the doctor and when asked what the problems are are may have said “abdominal pain, vomiting (and then whisper) and I have diarrhea.” Oh no... the dreaded “d” word.

Now that I have been in Africa, I am used to talking about poop. People talk about it all the time. They have no hesitation to ask for prayer during devotion for their diarrhea or hemorrhoids that are severely swollen. Before we left for our first trip, Mike gave us the poop pep talk “tell someone if you haven't gone for three days or have gone too much in three days.” When I first got there, it was awkward, now the “d” work flies out of my mouth at the drop off of a hat. The first time I had a problem with diarrhea, I was so embarrassed to talk to our clinical officer. He assured me it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Today I saw the tropical disease doctor aka the poop doctor. In preparation for my visit, I was given a container to put a sample in. The container is a small tube with a lid that has a small spatula attached. Since I had never done that before, just looking at it brought up all kinds of questions. So, when Suzy called me last night, I quizzed her:

1.Do I go and scoop it out of the toilet?
2.Do I hold the spatula and pray some falls on it?
3.Do I go in a bucket and scoop it up?
4.How much do they need? I didn't want to be the freak who brought in a cup when all they need is a teaspoon.
5.How fresh does it have to? Can it stay overnight?

You see the confusion? She laughed, answered my questions and said “it's a messy job, but someone has to do it.” Unfortunately, I wasn't able to “go” on command so I had to go the appointment without the needed sample. Dr. Chunge was really nice and told me to bring the sample in when I could. My abdomen was really sensitive when he examined me and he thinks I have some foreign visitors in my intestines. In addition to the sample I will bring later, they tested blood and urine. I will go back on Monday to discuss my results. I'll let you know how it goes.

I hope no one is offended. Just felt like sharing an issue that comes up frequently here! We have to find humor in these things. I debated for a while whether or not to post this one, but decided someone will find it interesting/humorous!